It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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