drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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