i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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