I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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