i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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