so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
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Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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