I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
