Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
