You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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