i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
