So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
