just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
