i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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