i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
