yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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