I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
