tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
