So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
