guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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