please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
