She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
