He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
