Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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