He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
