He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
