yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
