This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
