My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I enjoy the company of your penis
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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