It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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