I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
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