Soap is not a condiment
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
