Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
