Will you blow on my dice?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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