Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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