Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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