I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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