Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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