please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
