gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
