party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
