I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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