??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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