we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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