I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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