Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
