So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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