Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
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The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
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So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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