So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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