Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
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