I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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