Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
