if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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