who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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