He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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