It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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