Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize