I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
