How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize