It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
