She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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