I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She just used a chaser for red wine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just pee around me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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