i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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