We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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