first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN