Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
