the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth