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For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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