He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
