Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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