I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
