What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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