That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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